Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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