She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
