p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
