How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
