if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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