The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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