We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
