using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
