Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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