never play flip cup with pint glasses
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
