just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
