Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I will pee on everything he values.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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