We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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