Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
