I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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