He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
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