God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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