I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
