He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
