Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
