I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
