Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
