we have officially lost it.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize