do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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