no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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