About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
ttyl tear gas
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
