Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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