Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I have post one night stand depression
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