I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
