Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
my being single is dangerous.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
