He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
