It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
