Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
