I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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