I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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