i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
