Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
