So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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