can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
My vagina is officially offended.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
