Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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