Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
