How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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