Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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