It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
