Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize