I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
