I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
