Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
