If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
