Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
zippers are such a cool invention
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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