I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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