how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
