You're completely useless in the revolution.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Randomize
