you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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