is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
