So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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