piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize