sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
two words...techno handjob
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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