the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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