Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
