I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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