Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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