i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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