new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
