As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
My hand turned me down
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
