its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
