never play flip cup with pint glasses
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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