One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize