Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
