Who wears a wallet chain?!
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
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