She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
